


Everything I Didn't Say

by hellontheheart



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Babies, Daddy Ashton, F/M, Fluff, Porn With Plot, Pregnancy, Romance, Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, daddy!ashton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 20:46:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2555081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellontheheart/pseuds/hellontheheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jules and Ash haven't had the best relationship. But when they both realized how much they do care about each other, they try their hardest to make it work. Even with a few bumps in the road, they're still determined to be together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first ever fanfic and I'm super nervous to post it. There will be several more chapters after this one, so stay tuned! I hope you all enjoy it!  
> And thanks to my awesome friend, Mandy, for helping me out with this! :)

 

I was standing in the kitchen when Luke, Michael, and Calum strolled in. They were just getting home from the club, which they went to almost every night and always invited me but this time I decided to stay home. I wasn’t feeling the best, but I think it was just over working myself.

“Hello, boys!” I said with a cheerful smile.

“Hi, Jules!” Luke waved, giving me a goofy smile.

“Any of you boys want some pizza?” I asked.

“Hell yeah!” Michael said, as they all grabbed a few slices, said their thank yous and headed for the living room to watch some TV. I, too, walked in and took a seat next to Michael.

“Where's the curly-haired one?” I asked to no one in particular. They all shrugged.

“I don't know,” Luke said.

“We couldn't get him to leave with us,” Calum added.

That's odd. It wasn't like Ash to not leave with the guys. He usually always came home with the them.

\--

Michael and I must have fallen asleep on the couch because I awoke to someone slamming the kitchen door. I looked around, noticing that Luke and Calum must have already went upstairs to bed.

“Who the hell is slamming doors, in my house?” I barked, walking into the kitchen to see Ash standing there with a cold slice of pizza hanging from his mouth.

“Sorry, Jules. Didn't mean to wake you,” he mumbled as he chewed a piece of his pizza. I was still half asleep, rubbing the sleep from my eyes before I noticed that he had brought a girl home.

“Who's she?” I asked rudely.

“I'm Katie!” she said, holding her hand out to me.

“Ashton, can I, uh, see you in the other room, please?” I said, pointing towards the living room, ignoring her hand.

“Yeah, sure.”

As I walked into the other room I heard him whisper to Katie, “I'll be right back.”

Michael was still asleep on the couch, so I tried to be as quiet as possible.

“Why the hell are you bringing groupies back to my house?” I hissed.

“She's not a groupie, Jules!” Ashton corrected.

“Sure looks like one to me!”

“Just stop, Julie!”

“Stop what, Ashton? Stop complaining about you bringing home all of these girls? I thought you would have more respect for me, but I guess not. Just have your fun with her, and then get her out of my house!” Ash looked at me with wide eyes, looking at Katie then looking back at me. I stood there, arms folded across my chest waiting for him to say something smart, but he didn’t. He stormed out of the living room and back into the kitchen; Katie following right behind holding his hand. I gave her the dirtiest look possible. He pounded as loud as he could up the stairs, knowing how much that bugged the shit out of me.

“Who the hell is pounding so damn loud?” I heard Luke yell from his room, “I'm trying to sleep!”

“Fuck off, Luke!” Ash yelled, once again slamming the door to his room.

“Stop slamming the goddamn door!”

\--

Inside I was screaming. I was so pissed at Ash! I didn't know what's gotten into him lately, but he wasn't the same. But should I even care that he brought someone home, again? It's not like we were going to get back together. I sighed to myself and stalked back over to the couch, taking my place next to Michael. I tried my hardest not to cry but the tears started to spill. I didn’t wanna cry over him, not again.

“You okay, Jules?” I felt Michael's arm wrap around my shoulders, “I heard everything.”

“Yeah, I... I'll be alright,” as my tears fell harder.

“Jules?” Michael pulled my chin up so I was facing him, “you deserve better than him.”

“...but we’ve been through so much, it's hard to not feel this way,” I cried into Michael’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I know, but you can't keep starting fights with him every damn time he brings someone home,” he pointed out, rubbing my shoulder.

“Don't you think I know that, Michael? I don't wanna push him away anymore than I already hav-,”

“Then you need to think about moving on,” Michael whispered, cutting me off.  

I looked up at Michael as he slowly moved in closer, our foreheads were almost touching.

“Jules, I wanna kiss you,” he purred, looking down at me with a half smile. I never really thought of him anything more than a friend. He was always just Mikey to me but damn, was his smile sexy.

“Then do it,” I dared him, not thinking he would. Michael leaned in and placed a kiss to my lips. His lips were soft against mine, which was nice but I was hesitant.

“Michael,” I said breaking the kiss, “should we be doing this?”

“Mmhmm,” he moaned, pressing his lips back to mine. He grabbed at my hips pulling me over his lap so I straddled him, not once letting his lips leave mine. His hands were wrapped around my waist slowing rocking my hips against him as my fingers curled in his messy purple hair. He trailed kisses along my jawline and down my neck; I let out a small moan.

“Mmm, Jules, you’re so beautiful,” he cooed into my ear, just before he licked my neck.

It felt like forever since I’ve kissed someone, and that’s when Ash popped into my mind and the very vague memory of us waking up in my bed, naked, a few months back. I couldn’t remember everything that happened but I do remember having a few drinks with him that night. He never said anything about it and I wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up. I was brought back from my thoughts when I felt two cold hands make their way up my shirt.

“Michael, I think we should…”

 

“What the fuck?!”

“Shit,” I hissed and pushed myself off of Michael. I turned around to see Ashton standing in the doorway.

“You have the nerve to tell me not to bring girls home, but here you are, fucking our best friend!”

I wasn't fucking anyone and I can kiss whoever the hell I want!”

“The hell you can!” Ash fired back.

“What's it matter to you? It's not like we're together anymore!” I corrected him.

He let out a low growl, “I can't believe you.”

“Can’t believe what, Ash? That I’m still trying to move on from you? That I still want you,” the words just flew out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them. I felt my face burn and I was so embarrassed. _What did I just say?_ I couldn’t look Ashton or Michael in the face and by this time, Luke and Calum had found their way downstairs.

“Can you all shut up, and go to bed?!” Calum demanded, rubbing his eyes, “we have a show tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry Cal, I'm so over this shit,” I pushed my way past Ashton and went to my room, but not before slamming my door.

“Don't slam the door!” _Shut up, Ash._

 

I walked over to my bed and fell on to it. I screamed into my pillow as tears rolled down my cheeks. _Why was I being so mean to him? Why did I say I still wanted him?_   We weren't together anymore, so he could be with whoever he wanted, but so could I. Why did he say I couldn't? Because it was Michael? Did he still have feelings for me, or was I just pretending he did because I wanted him back? So many questions, with so little answers.

\--

I tossed and turned most of the night, thinking of how stupid I had acted. Eventually I had fallen asleep. I was woken up by some commotion outside my door. I lifted my head off the pillow and had to shield my eyes from the blinding light shining through the window. I must have forgotten to close the blinds last night.

***Knock. Knock***

“Jules, you awake?”

“Yeah, come in.”

Michael slowly walked in, head facing the ground, not wanting to look at me just yet. Thoughts from last night came rushing back to me.

_Oh, god, What did I do?_

“Michael,” I trailed off, “did we really, uh, kiss last night?” I stuttered, trying to get the words out.

“Yeah, that's why I came to talk to you before anyone else. I don't want anything being awkward between us,” he spoke, finally looking up at me.

“Neither do I, and I don't wanna hurt your feelings. I, I think I just wanted to get back at Ash.”

“...yeah, I know,” he sat next to me on the bed trying to fix his wild hair, but it just couldn’t be tamed, “I shouldn't have asked you, I knew you were vulnerable and I was a little drunk. I'm so sorry, Jules.”

“No, no don't be sorry, Mikey,” I took his hands in mine, “it was all my fault!” I apologized, “I shouldn't be afraid to confront Ash and tell him what I'm feeling. My emotions have been all over the place and I shouldn't have used you to get back at him,” I teared up.

“Maybe you should tell him. He's getting kind of cozy with that Katie girl,” he forewarned.

“Is she still here?” I asked, making a face at him.

“Yep, in the kitchen with Ash and the boys.”

“Ugh,” I groaned, “I better get down there then.” Something had to be done. I couldn't stand to see Ash with anyone, let alone this girl. She looked like trouble and I didn't want her hanging around.

“Come here, Mikey! Give me one of those warm hugs,” I giggled, standing up.

He too stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist. He always gave the best hugs.

“Thanks for always being there for me. It means the world,” I looked up at him with a smile.

“Anytime, day or night. You know I’m always there for you,” he reassured. We hugged once again.

“Alright, I better get showered and dressed.”

“Catch ya later!” Michael laughed, kissing me on the forehead.

“Michael! That's not cool!” I joked, pushing him out of my room.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I wanted to post this earlier this past week but I got so busy. Hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll have the next one up soon! :)

***Ashton’s POV***

I woke up feeling horrible about the fight I had with Jules the night before. I was stupid to bring Katie home. It was the first time I brought her here and if Julie knew who Katie really was, she would have killed me on the spot. No one knew that she and I had been seeing each other on and off since ‘that night’. She’s the only girl I've been serious with since Jules and I broke up. The other girls were just stupid flings that didn't lead to anything. She was someone I could see help me get over Jules, but for the past few months, I wasn't feeling it. My feelings for Katie had changed and I couldn't figure out why.

Katie was sitting on the edge of the bed, pissed off at me for not wanting to hook up last night.  It’s been tough for me to sleep with someone other than Julie. I honestly tried to go through it with, but after the fight and everything I've been going through, the thought of it made me sick. Plus Katie left this huge ass bite mark on my neck that I couldn’t hide. I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to see her anymore because every time I see Julie, I want to run up and hold her and fix things between us. I do have feelings for Katie, but they’re nothing like the ones I have for Jules. I just didn't know how to tell Katie, so I didn't.

I walked down to the kitchen with Katie. I wanted her gone before Jules woke up. She said goodbye to the guys and walked back over to me, kissing me on the lips, I cringed. Just please leave. I don’t want you here anymore. I didn't have the guts to say it to her face. After she left, I sat down next to Michael at the table. I looked over at him, wondering how he could have kissed Julie last night. He was always the one I went to when I needed advice. Hell, he’s the one that introduced me to her. I didn't know what I would say to him, but we needed to clear the air.

“Mich-,”

“Ash, look, I’m sorry,” he cut me off, “I was drunk, I didn't mean to kiss Julie. I know you still have feelings for her.”

“It doesn't matter anyway, she hates me,” I choked out, “she’ll never want me back.”

“She doesn't hate you, dude,” he replied and placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it a small shake, “just talk to her!”

“Okay.”

“So we’re cool now? No hard feelings?” Michael said holding his hand out to me.

“Yeah, we’re good,” I said, shaking his hand.

 

***Julie’s POV***

I hopped in the shower and let the warm water cascade over my face. I just wanted to wash away the memories from the night before. I can’t believe I kissed Michael. What the hell was I thinking? Oh right, I wasn't, but I was kind of glad Ash caught us and the way he acted. I didn't think he would have cared so much. Maybe he still cares…

I stepped out of the warmness of the shower and into the cold air, wrapping my hair up in a towel and then one around my body. I shuffled through my closet to find something to wear. I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, (but for some reason I had a hard time buttoning them, I must of been bloated,) and one of Ashton's shirts I just found, it still smelled like him. I pulled the shirt close to my nose and sniffed in his wonderful smell. It brought me back to all of the times I woke up next to him, my head resting on his chest, just breathing him in. _Sigh_ , I pulled the shirt over my head and walked over to the mirror, noticing how bloated I really was. Oh look, Jules! You’re pregnant, I giggled to myself, but there was no way. I was on this new birth control and it had been months since Ash and I, yeah, no, I’m not pregnant. I changed my focus on my hair. I decided to pull it up into a ponytail, I wasn't in the mood to mess with it.

\--

I finally got the courage to head downstairs; I passed a very tired Luke on the stairs.

“Sorry about last night, Luke.”

“It's fine, he yawned, “but look out for Ash, he still seems pissed.”

“Thanks for the warning,” I gave him a small smile as he continued to walk up the stairs.

I slowly made my way to the kitchen, dreading to see Ash and his new girl. He was sitting at the kitchen table eating a donut, alone. Thank god, she’s not here. The fact that he was alone made me smile like an idiot. Stop smiling, Julie! You don’t want him to see that you’re happy.

“Want some milk with that?” I asked, pulling the milk out from the fridge before turning to look at him for an answer, that’s when I noticed that he had a huge red mark under his ear. I felt my blood boil a little bit and I hoped to god my face didn’t show it. I couldn’t let him see that this pissed me off.

 No answer.

 _Okay then_ , I turned my back so he wouldn't see me roll my eyes. I didn't dare say anything about where Katie was.

“Don't roll your eyes, Jules,” I heard him say and I quietly laughed to myself, “and is that my Misfits shirt? I've been looking for that.”

“Do you want it back, right now?” I started to pull at the bottom hem of the shirt, slowly raising it above my belly button. Since he needed it back so bad, might as well give it to him now, right?

“Nah, looks good on you,” he smirked. Did he really just say what I think he said? That it looked good on me? I felt flush, hoping he didn't notice. What was up with him? Why flirt with me, when he had her?

“Uh, thanks. I guess,” I mumbled.

“Ash! Mikey! Luke! We gotta go, like now!” Calum yelled through the house. “We got a show in like, 20 minutes!”

“Jules?” Ashton paused, “can we maybe talk later?”

“Yeah, I think we need to, too,” I gave him a smile as he stood up to walk over to me. I leaned my back against the counter so I was fully facing him. He leaned in close, close enough that I could feel his breathe on my neck.

“I'm sorry,” he sighed into my ear, squeezing my side, sending a shiver throughout my entire body. His eyes met mine as his tongue ran over his bottom lip. _Don’t think about his lips, don’t think about his tongue. Just stop thinking Jules! Don’t let him get you all fired up._ I turned my head away, breaking his stare.

“Why do you do that?” He pouted.

“Do what?”

“Turn your head away when I look at you? I've always wonder.”

“I...I, don’t know, Ash. I jus-”

“Ash, where the fuck are you? Luke yelled through the open window above the sink, “we gotta go, dude!”

“Shit,” he put his hand on my chin and gently pulled my head up so I was facing him once again. He softly rubbed his thumb over my cheek.

“I gotta go, babe,” did he just say babe? I gave him a confused look, “but I promise we’ll talk when I get back.” I had to hold myself back from giving him a goodbye kiss.

“Oh, okay,” and then he kissed my cheek. I forgot how soft his lips actually were. By now I was sure he could see how red my face really was and then he left, just left, leaving me so confused.

“What the hell just happened?” I said aloud. Luke said he was still pissed, that didn't look pissed to me. I couldn't wrap my head around any of this and it was making me feel a little light-headed. I walked over and sat down where Ash had been earlier. There were papers with lyrics, I’m assuming, scattered all over the table. I started to read through them. Before I knew it, I was half way through. _Should I be reading these?_ The boys were really protective over them, but again, they were just lying on the table for anyone to see.

_Wait, don't tell me, Heaven is a place on Earth. I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't show you what you're really worth. ♪♪_

“Wow.” These were really good but as I was reading them, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. Damn, these new pills are really doing a number on me. Once the pain subsided, I continued reading the rest of the lyrics.

_Holding onto a broken and empty heart. Flowers I should've bought, all the hours I lost, wish I could bring it back to the start. ♪♪_

By now, tears had started to fall. I knew Ashton had written them because of the handwriting. I wanted to think they were written about me, but then again, I didn't. I didn't want to think I had hurt him that bad. I couldn't read them anymore, as I started to feel nauseated. I got up and went straight to the couch and turned on the TV.

***Flashback***

_The guys were already at the club before I got there. They were celebrating after their song went number 1 in pretty much every country. When I first walked in I noticed Luke first, tipsy as hell, but he was still able to communicate pretty well._

_“Where’s Ash?” I yelled over the loud music._

_“Last time I saw him, he was over there by the bar,” Luke yelled back, pointing to the back of the club. It was dark, smoky, and quite loud. Wasn't my style but hey, I was here to support the boys. I walked towards the bar and there was Michael, talking to some girl who was so shit faced, she could barely stand. She was basically leaning against Mikey for support. He noticed me and waved. “Have you seen Ash?” I mouthed and he just shook his head no. Where the hell was he?_

_I walked up to the bar and ordered a drink, scanning the crowd trying to find Ashton. That’s when I noticed him in the far corner of the club. His head was  buried in the neck of some girl, like he was whispering in her ear, or worst. I moved in closer only to see something I wish I hadn’t. He had both of his hands on her waist, rocking her to the beat of the music. I tapped him on the shoulder; he turned around so quickly that he almost falls over. Of course he was drunk off his ass, but still, he should have known better._

_“Jules?” He slurred._

_“Fuck you, Ashton!” I cursed, throwing my drink in his face._

_“Julie! Julie, wait!!” he called out, “It’s not what you think!” Shaking the drink off of himself, he ran after me._

_“Just leave me alone!” I was fighting back tears when his strong hand grabbed me by my arm. I pulled back from his grip and slapped him against the face, leaving him in shock._

***End Flashback***

I must’ve fallen asleep, because I woke in a cold sweat from what I would call a nightmare. I looked at my phone to see a gazillion texts and voice mails from Ash. I checked the time and it was way later then I thought, the boys should have been back by now.

I checked the voice mails first.

_“Jules, when you get this please call me back as soon as possible!” **  
**_

_“Julie! Where the hell are you?! Call me back!” He sounded mad and upset._ **  
**

The third voice mail was similar to the first two. The last text is what hit me.

_Jules we just got a call tellin us we have to do a 10 day tour in the UK. We're leaving right now. I tried calling you but you wouldn't answer. Call you when I can. Sorry. Ash x_

The UK? So as of now, Ash was 5 hours ahead of me, or at least he would be.

And he sounded so disappointed on the phone. _Fuck, I just had to fall asleep, didn't I?_ I had to be dreaming, he was just here this morning and now he was in a different time zone? Mad at myself I texted him back.  

_So I guess we won't be talking tonight? :(_

After I hit send, I threw my phone at the lazy boy, not caring if it broke.

I sat on the couch and waited and waited for the ringer to go off but it never did. I needed to find something to do, I couldn’t sit here anymore. I grabbed my phone and keys and walked towards the door. I opened it and to my surprise Katie was standing there.

“Oh, hi, is Ashton here?” She mumbled, looking around me to see inside the house.

“Uh, no, Katie, he went back on tour in the UK,” I replied, annoyed.

“Do you know when he'll be back then? I have something very important to tell him.” _God, her voice was annoying._

“I don't, sorry. Would you like me to take a message?”

“Oh, no, I think it would be better if I told him in person. I'll check back in a few days.”

“I think it'll be more than a few days,” I noted, closing the door on her. I leaned against the door and slide to the floor. With my head in my knees, I let out a deep sigh. _What am I going to do? I need to talk to Ash and figure out where we stand._

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but I promise they get longer :) Enjoy

***Ashton’s POV***

I'm sitting on a plane to who knows where with Luke to my right and Mikey to my left; Calum is up in front us. They're having a conversation about peanut and peanut butter M&M's, but I’m not interested in what they're saying. All I can think about is how I've been treating Julie and what she really means to me. _I hope she got my messages._ We still had another hour or so left on this flight and it's killing me not knowing if she replied.

“Ash? Ashton?” Michael says nudging me with his elbow, “which one is your favorite?”

“I don't know, Michael.”

“Come on, pick one!” He chuckles.

“Fine, the peanut ones,” I sigh, rather annoyed. The three of them go back to talking about the most random things, but I put my headphones in and tuned them out.

We were finally on the ground; fans are all around the airport. It's nice to see so many people waiting for us, but I just wasn't in the mood for it, but I put on a smile and walked through the crowd of girls. I felt bad we couldn't stop and take pictures or sign stuff, but we were running late as it was. I waved to them and got into the back seat of the SUV.

“You miss her, don't you?” Calum whispered. I just nodded my head and continued to look out the window.

 

\--

 

Once we got to the hotel I checked my phone, there was a text from Jules.

_So I guess we won't be talking tonight? :(_

I didn't know what to say back to her, I already felt like I let her down. There was also a text from Katie.

_Ash, we need to talk asap!_

What did she want now? I should have just told her last night that I didn't want to see her anymore.

***Julie’s POV***

My phone sat on the floor next to me vibrating. I took a peek at it through tear stained eyes to see there was a text from Calum.

_Hi Julie. Sorry we left so quickly. This tour just came out of nowhere. Ash is really upset about it. You should fly out to see him! ;) ;) -Cal x_

_Would love too. But I have to work the next few days. I could fly out Friday and be there Saturday? - J xo_

_It was only Tuesday, so I had some time to get everything in place._

_Can you set it up, pretty please, Cal?! ;) - J xo_

_Done & Done. Just don't tell him or anyone else you're coming. See you Saturday! -Cal x_

_Thanks! <3 - J xo_

This was a good idea right? Maybe I was rushing this? Ashton never responded to my text once he landed, so maybe he didn't even want to see me? But if I wanted to fix things, I had to go.

 

\--

 

I rode my bike to work the next morning; it was a short ride, about ten minutes. The weather was gorgeous, not a cloud in the sky. It put me in a good mood, which was something I needed. Once I got to work, time seemed to drag by. I worked for an animal clinic and it was a rather busy day. All types of animals coming and going. A woman came in with her newly adopted puppy named Bailey.

“She's adorable!” I giggled as the puppy gave me kisses.

“Thank you!” she smiled, “my kids love her to pieces!”

This brought back memories of the time Ash and I were looking at puppies. He really wanted to get one and name it Tucker. Oh those were the days.

It was finally 5 and work was coming to an end. I rode home as fast as I could because I needed to pack and get everything ready for my flight to the UK. I like to be prepared and if I didn't get it done now, it would never get done. I texted Calum to make sure everything was in order.

_Hey Cal, almost packed and ready for my flight. Who's picking me up at the airport and where am I staying? - J xo_

_I'll be the one picking you up and I'll be at the airport around 8am and you're staying in my room. But I'm sharing it with Ash. - Cal x_

_Oh, uh okay. - J xo_

_Don't worry Jules. I know he wants to see you. Now get some sleep. - Cal x_

_Okay, I just hope you’re right. Night Cal... or is it Good Morning? Lol - J xo_

_Morning here, night for you. Good night Jules. - Cal x_

Friday couldn't come quick enough.

\--

It was 4 o’clock in the damn morning and I didn't want to be up. I hardly got any sleep and I wasn't in the mood to deal with people. On the way to the airport, I decided to read through some  twitter posts when I came across a tweet Ash had posted:

_If you can wait til I get home, then I swear to you that we can make this last._

Lyrics from our favorite song by A Day To Remember. Ugh, this boy knew how to tug at my heart strings. I still didn't know if going to see him was the right thing to do. What if those lyrics weren't about us, but about him and Katie? So many thoughts running through my head at once.

“Ms.? Ms., we're here! Hello!” The cabby was yelling, trying to get my attention since I had my headphones in.

“Oh goodness, I'm sorry. How much do I owe you?” I asked

“$260.50,” he replied. It was a 2 and half hour drive to the airport, but it was better than leaving my car sit for who knows how long in the airport's parking lot. I handed him the exact change and got my suit cases out of the trunk.

I had a long day ahead of me, flying from Richmond to Boston and then from Boston to London. I hated long flights, especially when I was alone. I grabbed a few magazines, a drink, and some snacks. Once it was time to board the plane, I started having second thoughts. I hope Calum was right about Ashton wanting to see me and I hope he wouldn't be mad once he saw I was there. I wanted to try to fix things between us, though our relationship wasn't the best, I think we truly loved each other and still had some feelings for one another.

As I was walking and thinking to myself, that’s when I saw her. It was fucking Katie. Why the hell was she boarding the same flight as me? _Shit._ Was she going to see Ash, too? Did he invite her, or did she find out where he was on her own? I felt my face burning with anger and I wanted to walk right up to her and questioned why she was here, but I held myself back. She wasn't worth my time. I fell back in line a bit so she wouldn't see me; I didn't want her to know I was there.

I was finally on the plane, luckily nowhere near Katie, but just knowing she was there pissed me off horribly. I pushed my seat back, put my headphones in and settled myself in for a long ass plane ride.

 


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up to the plane landing; I was finally in London and the nerves were kicking in. I had an about an hour or so before Calum would be there to pick me up so I sat by the window and watched as the planes took off and landed. I found it quite peaceful. I totally forgot about Katie until she came walking up to me.

“Jules, Jules, is that you?” she questioned with her annoying voice.

“Hi, Katie,” I continued to look out the window, trying my best to ignore her.

“What in the world are you doing here?” She said cheerfully, why was she always so happy?

“Ash invited me out,” I lied.

“Oh, he did?” Her cheerfulness leaving her voice.

“Well, my ride should be here soon, I better get going. It was nice seeing you” I blew off her previous question and walked away as fast as I could. I can’t believe I just told her that. _What if she calls Ashton and tells him? Fuck me._ This was the last thing I needed.

***Ashton’s POV***

It's been four days since we left the States and I left Jules behind thinking I was coming home that night. I still haven’'t text her back.

The shows we've done have been pretty good so far, I just wish Julie was here to see them. Calum had been acting funny though, every time I came around he would cover his phone and act all weird. What was he up too?

 

***Calum’s POV***

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to checked the time, _time to go pick up Julie!_ I was excited to see her, even though it’s only been a few days, she was like a sister to me and I missed her dearly. I sat my bass on the stand and went to grab my bag.

“Hey guys, I gotta head out for bit, but I'll be back in time for the show.”

“But we have a sound check in 2 hours, Cal. Where in the hell are you off to?” Michael questioned.

“I have go to the airport to pick up Jul--” I stopped short realizing what I was saying, “must I tell you guys everything?” I huffed.

“Wait, what?  Luke chimed in, “were you going to say Jules?”

“Uh, yeah,” Calum laughed, scratching the back of his head, “I told her to visit Ash because he clearly misses her and needs to see her.”

“Does he know?” Michael asked.

“No! And you’re not supposed to know either. Please don't tell him,” I warned, “it's a surprise.”

“Alright, just please don't be late,” Michael ordered, looking back down at his guitar.

“I won't.”

***Ashton’s POV***

I walked in just as Cal was leaving, “hey, where you off to mate?” I asked curiously.

“Uhh, just off to meet a friend. Gotta go, in a hurr...” He trailed off as he rounded the corner. _Uh, okay,_ I walked into the lounge where Michael and Luke were now playing FIFA.

“What's up with Calum?” _Are they ignoring me too? What did I do?_ I pressed on, “he's been acting kinda weird around me lately.”

“I don't know, man,” Luke spoke, not once looking away from the TV.

“He said he was meeting someone at the airp-- shit,” Michael cursed, looking at Luke.

“Dudes? Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” I replied, walking towards them. Now all 3 of them were acting weird and I wanted to know what the hell was going on.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Michael hinted.

 

***Julie’s POV***

I walked outside to see a familiar face. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!” I giggled running up to Calum, giving him a huge hug. **  
**

“Right back at you, girl,” he laughed, “we've missed you, especially Ash.”

“I hope you’re right about him wanting to see me,” I gave him a worried look.

“Oh trust me, he hasn't smiled in days.” Cal helped me put my stuff in the back of the SUV and we were off to the hotel.

“Once I drop you off, I have to head straight to the venue.” he said, slowly pulling into the airport traffic.

“Okay, that’s fine.” I turned the radio on and looked out the window. Don’t Stop came over the speakers and I looked over at Calum. He also looked over at me and we laughed. He started to sing along and I joined him. It was like that for the rest of the car ride. I can’t believe how much I've really missed being around these guys and it was only for a few days.

We arrived at the hotel and a roar of screaming girls erupted. _Wow, this is crazy._ Cal gave me a ‘are you ready?’ face and I nodded. I hopped out of the SUV and stood on the sidewalk to wait for Calum. He took my suitcases out of the back and sat them down next to me.

“Can you get these upstairs by yourself?”

“Yep, I’ll be just fine,” I smiled, I was afraid the fans would think I’m dating Calum and I didn't want to deal with the drama bullshit.

I heard one of the fans scream, “are you Calum’s girlfriend?!” I shook my head no, and said, “just friends.” It was so annoying to have to deal with this kind of stuff. I didn't like my personal life messed with, but I knew this would be all over twitter in a matter of seconds.

“I gotta go now, Jules,” he said as we hugged, “Mikey will be pissed if I’m late”, he chuckled.

“Thanks for this Cal,” I whispered to him and he hugged me tight.

“See you later!” he waved as he got into the SUV; I waved back as he drove off.

I sighed and made my way through the crowded sidewalk. I never understood why these girls hung out at the hotels, but I guess I would have probably done the same thing for my favorite band, when I was younger.

I walked into the lobby and made my way for the elevator. _Shit! He forgot to give me a key card for his room!_ I made my way over to the front desk and waited for the man who was running it to return. He walked around corner and grinned, “are you with the band?” he guessed.

“Uh, yeah,” I mumbled, trying not to sound lame.

“They left you an extra key card,” he chuckled, “and they informed me, you’re close friends with them.” Was he assuming that I was something else? I looked at him slightly confused, “You’re in room 1124.”

“Thanks!” I faked a smile and was just happy to be away from him, he creeped me out.

I got on the elevator, luckily by myself. I needed some alone time just to collect all my thoughts. I finally arrived on the right floor and made my way towards their room. _Why are you freakin’ out Jules? He’s not in there._ I ran the card over the designated spot on the door and the red light turned to green. I turned the doorknob and the smell of man hit my nose. _Ugh! Do they EVER wash their clothes?_ I couldn't help but laugh. As soon as I saw the two beds. I knew which one was Ash’s. He never made the bed and there sitting on the pillow was one of his lovely bandanas. I went over and picked it up, I put it up to my nose and it smelled exactly like him.

I still had plenty of time to be alone before the boys came back. So I decided to take a shower and then maybe a nap. I turned on the tv, so it wouldn’t feel so empty in the room, and Family Guy was on! My favorite. I took my shoes off and sat them neatly on the floor by the edge of the bed. Next were my jeans and t-shirt. I walked down the little hallway to the bathroom. _Clean towels? Where are the clean towels?_ I found only one, it was going to have to do. I turned the shower on first to let the water warm up. I stared at myself in the mirror, still noticing the small bump, I couldn't still be bloated? I shook all the thoughts running through my head and moved into the shower, the warm water felt wonderful on my skin. I didn't stay in the shower long, I was too tired. I wrapped the towel around my body and let my wet curly hair fall on my shoulders; I walked back to the main room where the beds were. I pulled out a cute pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt. I hopped up onto Cal’s bed, which was filled with pillows. It’s was super soft and the blankets were cozy. I snuggled under the covers and flipped through the channels until I found a movie that looked interesting. My eyes started to grow heavy, I laid my head down on the pillow and I was asleep in no time.  

 

\--

 

I woke up to my phone’s ringtone blaring. It was a text from Calum.

_Hey Jules, I’m staying with Luke and Mikey tonig--_

Before I could finish reading it, the door swung open. _Shit._

“Jules?” Ashton stared at me with a confused look on his face.

“Hi, Ashton,” I said in a very faint whisper, not sure if he heard it.

“Wha-what are you doing here?” he questioned, dropping his backpack onto the floor.

“I, uh, I,” I couldn't think of what to say.

“Calum told you to come, didn't he?” he started moving closer to me.

“Yeah, he did. I can leave if you want?” I sat up in the bed and looked up at him.

“No, I wan--,” he came rushing up to me, cupping my face in his large hands. He looked into my eyes before lowering his soft lips to mine, lingering there for a moment, before moving his lips again.

Time seemed to stop and all my thoughts were calmed.  Ashton ran his hands down to my waist, pulling me up to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled my legs out from under the covers, swinging them over the side of the bed, wrapping them around his waist pulling him into me. He sucked on my bottom lip before pulling his lips from mine. Our foreheads rested against each other, we were both silent, trying to catch our breath.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean too,” he finally spoke, in a very faint whisper, his eyes were still closed.

“Don’t be sorry, Ash,” I cooed moving my head so it was now resting on his chest; his heart was beating so fast.

“I've missed you,” I mumbled into his chest, “I've missed…us.”

“You have no idea how much I've missed this,” he said, planting a kiss on the top of my head. This is what I wanted for so long, to be in his arms, to feel his warmth. After all that’s happened between us, it didn't matter anymore. I loved him. I loved everything about him, the good and the bad. We were going to work this out, I just knew it.

 

\--

 

We climbed into bed and cuddled under the blankets. I had my head resting on his chest, just listening to him breathe. He ran his fingers up and down my arm, giving me goosebumps, neither of us talking, just being there was enough for both of us. I snuggled in closer to him and he looked down at me.

“Are you okay?” he hummed, rubbing his cheek against my forehead.

“Mhm, I've never been better,” I said looking up at him. He leaned down and planted a kiss to my lips, I could feel him smiling.

I couldn't believe how quick I gave into him, but I didn't want to hate him anymore. The moment I saw him walk into the room, I let my guard down and all I wanted was him.

“Ready for bed, babe?” Ash mumbled, shifting under the covers so he was now behind me, “you can be my little spoon again,” he chuckled. I laughed, pushing my butt into him. “Whoa, hey now!” he giggled, “don’t tease me,” he groaned against my neck.

“Who said I was teasing?” I smirked, turning around to face him, propping myself up on my elbow.

“Ugh,” he moaned, nudging his head against mine, “babe, I’m just too exhausted.”

“Alright,” I pouted, “we’ll save it for another night.” I gave him a lingering kiss before turning back around.

“Goodnight, Ashton,” I whispered, “I’m really glad I came.”

“Me too, Jules, me too,” he kissed the back of my head and pulled me closer, “Night, sweet pea.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

***Ashton’s POV*** **  
**

I woke up to Julie snuggled close to me, her head resting on my chest. She was so beautiful and I didn't want to wake her, but I had to get up. I gently slid out from under her, _don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up._ She started to mumble something, but I couldn't quite hear what she said, then she rolled over to the other side of the bed. The blankets were only covering half her body, her shirt riding up, exposing her soft skin to the cool air. I couldn't help but stare, I’d give anything to crawl back into bed with her. I gently and slowly covered her with the blanket before I quietly snuck out of the hotel room, luckily Jules didn't wake up while I was getting ready.

\--

I decided I wanted to buy her something special to show her just how much I wanted to make this work. I walked down the hall to Luke’s room; I wanted him to come with me and help pick it out. I knocked on the door, not once, but three times. _Damn, there are three of them in there and not one can hear me knocking?_ After what seemed like forever, Luke finally opened the door.

“What do you want so early in the morning?” he yawned, waving me in.

“I want you to come with me and help pick something out for Julie,” I asked him, rather excited.

“You couldn't wait til later?” he groaned, stretching his arms to the ceiling.

“No, I want to get it before she wakes up!”

“Okay, okay, just calm down,” he laughed, “let me get dressed.”

\--

We walked down to the hotel lobby and through the huge double doors. There were a few fans waiting outside, so we stopped and took some photos with them. They were all so sweet and kind. I loved our fans, they were the best! After we met with the last of them, we strolled down the street to the jewelry store. This place was huge and there were so many different items to choose from, I didn't know where to start.

“Luke, what do you think she would like?” I asked, looking through all the cases.

“Hmm, he rubbed his neck, “I don’t know, Ash,” he continued looking with me, “how about a promise ring?”

“A promise ring?” I questioned.

“Yeah! Like, instead of rushing into an engagement ring,” he added, walking towards the cases filled with rings.

“You think she’ll like something like that?” I asked, walking in the same direction as him.

“I think she’ll love it!” He smiled, “she really cares about you, Ash.”  I looked up at him confused, _how could she still love me after all I put her through?_

The lady that worked there came up to us and I asked if we could look at the promise rings. She walked to the other end of the cases, unlocked the glass and pulled out a stand with at least 20 rings on it. She walked back over to us and before she even started to show us, I had the one I wanted picked out. It was gold (Jules’ favorite) with a flower shaped cluster of shining diamonds, wrapped with rose gold petals. It was perfect!

“This one!” I interrupted, “this is it! She’s going to love it, I just know it!” I was smiling from ear to ear. I showed Luke and he nodded, patting me on the shoulder.

“She’ll love it, mate!” he smiled. I handed it to the lady and she boxed it up all nice and pretty. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Julie’s face when I gave it to her. I wiped my sweaty palms onto my jeans before taking the box from the lady.

“She’s one lucky lady,” she grinned. I gave her a warming smile and thanked her for her help.

As we were walking back to the hotel, I heard someone yelling my name.

“Ashy! Ash!” _What the fuck?_ No one called me Ashy but… I turned around and saw her. What hell was she doing here? I looked over at Luke and he just shook his head at me. She came strolling up to me, like she owned the whole sidewalk. The thought of her being here made my stomach turn.

“What are you doing here, Katie?” I asked, putting the tiny box into my pocket, not wanting her to see it.

“I’m here to see you, silly!” she purred, wrapping her arms around my neck, leaning in for a kiss.

“Oh,” I mumbled disgusted, turning my face away from her and pulling her hands off of me.

“You don’t want me here?” she yelled, throwing her hands up into the air, causing a scene in front of everyone, including a few fans that were still hanging around, “it’s because she’s here, isn’t it?”

“Luke, could you give me a minute with her, please.” I huffed, not really wanting Luke to leave, but I had to get this over with.

“Yeah, sure,” he looked at me and gave me that _‘don’t do anything stupid’_ look. Katie was still going on about something when I turned back to her.

“Katie, please lower your voice,” I tried reasoning with her, “let’s go across the street and get a coffee, there’s something I need to tell you.” She shook her head in agreement and we walked across the street to Starbucks.

***Julie’s POV***

I woke up and looked over my shoulder, hoping to see Ashton still sleeping, next to me, but he wasn't. I sat up and looked around the room, it was empty. _Maybe he went to get breakfast or the guys needed him._ I stayed in bed a few seconds longer, before I go look for Ashton. I picked out a pair of jeans and a shirt and headed for the bathroom.

\--

I put my key card and phone into my back pocket and left the room. As I was walking towards the lobby, I saw Luke, he waved me over.

“Good morning, Jules,” he smiled, hugging me, “it’s good to see you!”

 “It’s good to see you too, Luke! I smiled back, “have you seen Ash? When I woke up, he was gone,” I looked up at him with a sad face, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"Uh, yeah, he’s uh… over at Starbucks,” he said, acting weird, like there was something he didn't want to say, “but he’s with--,” before he could finish I cut him off.

“He’s with her, isn't he?” I gulped, I could feel my face heat up.

“Look, Jules, it’s not what you think!” Luke tried to calm me down, but it wasn't working.

“Save it, Luke!” I threw my hands up, “he’s not getting away with it this time!” I stormed off away from him, I could hear him yelling my name behind me, but I didn't turn around. Ashton wasn't going to keep doing this to me. It ended now.

I walked, well ran across the street to Starbucks. I saw Ash and Katie sitting at a table near the window. It looked like she was doing all the talking, while Ash just looked down at his coffee. I pulled my hood up over my head before walking in, so they wouldn't notice me. I wanted to see if I could hear what they were talking about before I confronted them. I walked up to the counter and ordered a hot chocolate, I wasn't a coffee drinker. I could barely make out what they were saying but Ashton was now doing the talking.

“Katie, look, I have something I need to tell you,” he was looking up at her.

“Ash,” she cut him off once again. She always did that, “I’m pregnant!”

“You’re what?!” I yelled, forgetting that I didn't want them to know I was even there. Ashton stood up so fast his chair fell backwards onto the floor with a loud thud.

“Julie, wha-what are you doing here?” he stuttered, walking over to me, holding his hands out.

“Don’t! Just don’t, Ashton,” I said through gritted teeth, backing away from him.

“I’m here to break up with her,” he tried explaining to me, but I wasn't having it, “I didn't know she was pregnant until just now,” he added, still walking up to me.

I stared at him for a second more before running away. As I was rushing towards the door, I heard Katie yelling at Ashton for wanting to break up with her while she was pregnant. I was out the door before I heard anything else, and frankly, I was glad to be out of there. I couldn't believe this. Why was he breaking up with her, they were dating? And how could he get her pregnant? I tried holding back the tears, but they still came, running down my face like a waterfall. I looked up and down the street before crossing, now would be a really bad time to get hit by a car or something. I hated that I had to face all the fans standing outside the hotel with tears rolling down my face. I heard Ash calling my name from across the street but I didn't bother looking back. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I let my guard down anyway, and now here we were, right back where we started. I hurried my pace because I swore I could hear his footsteps right behind me. I made it to the elevator and prayed it showed up before he did. _Come on! Hurry up! Please, just come on!_ I bounced up and down impatiently waiting for the elevator to arrive from the 6th floor. _Finally!_ I walked in and just as the doors were closing a hand slipped its way in, causing the doors to reopen.

_Shit. Shit. **Shit!**_

 

“Oh thank god!” Ashton praised, raising his up arms up.

“Don’t come near me, asshole!” I growled, “I should have never let my guard down with you!”

“Julie, just fucking stop!” He cursed, “just listen to what I have to say, dammit!” Before he could get another word out, the elevator stopped at our floor, I rushed out and quickly made my way towards our room. As I was reaching for the key card in my back pocket, my phone slipped out and fell to the floor.

“Fuck!” I bent down to pick it up just as Ashton was too. Our heads collided and I fell backwards, and the tears came falling again.

“Ouch,” Ash laughed, rubbing his head, “you sure are hard-headed.”

“Fuck you!” I yelled, standing up. Ash too stood back up and I stomped over to him, slapping him hard on his chest, over and over, he didn't once stop me.

“Go on,” he breathed, “I deserve it.”

This made me stop and I pulled my hands up to my face, falling to my knees. Ashton kneeled down beside me, pulling me into his chest. I hesitated at first, but then I just gave in. I was too tired to keep fighting with him. I sobbed hard into his chest as he pulled my hair out of my face.

“Shh, just calm down, baby,” he cooed, “settle down, Jules.” I took a deep breath and looked up at him. He cupped my face in hands and kissed my lips, lingering before pulling away.

“I love you,” he whispered, looking straight at me, biting his lip.

“You, you what?” I stared back at him, my head spinning.

“I love you, Julie! I always have.” he breathed, moving his face closer to mine. “I know I’ve done stupid things and I know how bad I've treated you,” he continued, I could feel his hot breath on my cheek, “but I can only hope that we can get past this and fix us,” he sucked in a sharp breath, “can you ever forgive me?”

I looked up at him and then realized we were still sitting in the middle of the hotel’s hallway, a few doors down from our room. I’m surprised that no one called us into the service desk. I pushed myself off of Ashton’s lap and stood up, straightening out my clothes. I let out a deep sigh.

“Let’s go back to our room and finish talking,” I held my hand out for him to take. He took it and I helped pull him up off the floor, not that he needed it. He didn’t let go of my hand either. He laced his fingers with mine and they fit perfectly, like they were made to be put together. We walked back to our room, holding hands for the first time in almost a year. _What am I doing? Am I really going to do this again?_ I only hoped that what he said was the truth and I wasn't making a bad decision in wanting to hear what else he had to say.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Ashton was sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, I could see the tension in his shoulders and all I really wanted to do was hold him. He hasn't said a word since we got back to our room and neither had I. We sat in silence for a while, before Ash began to speak.

“Jules, there’s uh, there’s something I need to tell you about Katie,” he stood up and walked towards the window, running a hand through his hair.

“What is it?” I gulped, not sure if I wanted to know.

“I should have told you a long time ago but,” he began, leaning against the window frame, looking out of the window at the night sky, “remember that night you caught me with that girl at the club?”

“Yeah, I do,” I hissed, trying to not let the anger rise in me. He turned around and looked at me with disappointment showing on his tired face.

“That was Katie,” he whispered, turning away from me once again. I was shocked. I didn't know whether to laugh, yell, or cry. But all I did was sit there, staring at his perfectly sculpted back. I went to say something but he beat me to it.

“You and I weren't getting along. I was pissed and drunk off my ass, but I shouldn't have cheated on you,” he paused, banging his fist on the wall, “I was stupid, so stupid, Julie!”

“Ash, I don’t care about that shit anymore!” I lied, but I didn't want to fight about that night anymore. I was tired of hearing about it, about her. It still bothered me, but I needed to move on from it and figure out where to go from here, “just don’t bring it up anymore, okay? The past is the past and we can’t change it no--”

“It’s not my baby,” he interrupted.  

“Whoa, what? Repeat that.” I asked, because I was so caught up in what I was saying I didn't hear him.

“It’s not my baby!” he said again, turning around to face me, “there’s no way in hell that’s my baby.”

“Why do you say that?” I walked over and stood next to him.

“Because we never fucked,” he looked down at me, biting his lip, “I know you and the guys think I've fucked so many girls, but I haven’t! There was only a few and I was just lonely, I needed someone there, and you weren't there anymore!” He threw his hands up in the air, “I had no one.” I leaned into him, pulling him into a hug. I kind of felt sorry for him, I know how we ended things really messed with both of us, but I didn't think it was this bad.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pushed my body close to him. I felt a bulge against my hip.

“Uh, Ash?” I coughed, “either that’s your phone in your pocket, or you’re really excited about this hug,” I said biting back a laugh.

“What?” he blushed, looking at me sideways.

“What’s in your pocket?” I started sticking my hand down his pocket when he quickly grabbed my wrist.

“Oh, yeah,” he chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck, “it’s a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” I smiled, “well, let me see it!” He pulled a small black box out of his pocket.

“Luke helped me pick it out,” he bit his lip, “that’s why I was gone this morning,” I took the box from him, “it’s just a little something to show how much you mean to me,” he whispered as I opened the box.

“Oh Ash,” I gasped, “it’s beautiful!” I couldn't believe he remembered that gold was my favorite and how much I loved things with flowers on it.

“Do-do you like it?” he took the box out of my hands and pulled the ring out.

“I don’t like it,” I paused, looking up at him, he was frowning, “I love it!” I leaned up and planted a kiss to his cheek. He gave me a huge smile and grabbed my hand, sliding the ring on my ring finger and said, “I can’t promise you we’ll never fight, but I can promise you that I will always be true and baby,” he sucked in a sharp breath, “I promise that I will always love you more than anything with all my heart, no matter what happens or what we go through. Jules, I’ll love you until the end of time.” He took my hands in his and sighed, “wow, that sounded better in my head,” he chuckled at me with a half-smile.

“Aw, Ash,” I smiled, “it was beautiful!” I pulled his hands to my lips and kissed his knuckles. “I-I love you,” I whispered against his skin, part of me hoping he didn't hear, but the other part hoping he did. I wanted things to be different. I wanted us to be us again, before our relationship went to hell.

“You love me?” he looked at me with wide eyes and a goofy smile coming across his lips.

“Ash,” I sighed, “I've always loved you,” I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to me for Ashton to come sit. And so he did, “I've been in love with you since the day I met you. I just knew,” I paused, thinking of how to say what I needed to say, “I just knew you were the one,” I looked down at my hands, afraid to look over at Ashton. I wasn't one to pour my feelings out like this; I always kept what I felt inside. I didn't want to tell Ashton how I felt, I didn't even know if I could trust him yet, but the words just came out. I was about to speak again when Ashton placed a finger to my lips.

“Jules, no more talking,” he smirked as he gently laid me back on the bed, now hovering over me with a hand on either side of my head. I ran my hands up his chest and up over his shoulders so that they rested on the back of his neck. My fingers fumbled with the pieces of hair that laid on his neck. He adjusted his position so he was now leaning on his elbow beside me, placing his hand on my hip, lightly squeezing. “Jules,” he whispered, “can we…,” he trailed off, his eyes filled with lust.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss, lingering against his lips for a moment. I felt his hand move around to the small of my back as he pulled me into him, our bodies pressing together ever so gently. He pressed his lips to mine again but this time with more urgency, like he had been waiting so long for this to happen and I too, have been waiting for this moment.

Ashton was playing with the hem of my shirt, debating whether or not to remove it; he looked up at me with those gorgeous hazel eyes looking for an answer. I nodded and kissed his forehead. I sat up and he slowly lifted the shirt over my head, the cold air making me shiver. Ashton noticing, grabbed me by the waist and pulled me onto his lap. I could feel his erection pressing through his tight black jeans, just waiting to be released. I rocked my hips back and forth, grinding against him, causing him to lean his head back and a quiet moan escaped from his lips.

“Fuck, you’re such a tease,” he whispered against my ear, his hands pressed tightly against my back.

“This shirt has to go, as well as these pants,” I bit my lip as I started undoing his belt, pulling it out of the loops in one quick motion. As I was undoing the buttons on his jeans, Ash had already removed his shirt, leaving his toned chest exposed. I stopped what I was doing and took the sight of him in, _damn_.

“Please, don’t stop,” Ashton mumbled as he leaned against my chest, wrapping his arms around my back, finding their way to the clasp of my bra. He had no trouble undoing it. The straps slowly slipped down my arms, I pulled it completely off and tossed on the floor. I found it funny how Ashton couldn't keep his eyes off my chest; it was like he’s never seen breasts before.  

“Eyes up here, big boy,” I laughed, lightly pushing his chest.

“But they’re just so,” he started to play with them, “perfect,” he squeezed my breast ever so gently before twisting my nipples between his thumb and index finger. He leaned in and started to leave open mouth kisses on my neck, hitting my sweet spot more than once, causing me to whimper each time. He continued to kiss down to my collarbone, lightly sucking on my skin, leaving small bite marks. As he was kissing me, his hands fumbled with the buttons on my jeans, once having them undone, I lifted my hips up so he had an easier time pulling them down. Once he had them down, he trailed sloppy kisses up my thighs, making his way over to my wetness. He placed a short quick kiss on the outside of my panties before removing them.

“Mmm, babe, you’re already so wet for me,” he groaned slipping a finger inside of me. I thrusted my hips up towards his finger for more friction.

“Ashton,” I breathed out, as he slipped another finger inside, “faster.” As he curled his fingers in and out, I felt the pressure start to grow and he took notice as he pulled his fingers out. I let a groan out of frustration and he cracked a laugh.

“I’m not finished with you yet, sweetpea,” he smirked. He began kissing up my stomach, his hands exploring my body, gently grabbing here and there. His lips were soon wrapped around my nipple as my body quivered underneath him. He removed his mouth and turned to lie beside me, lifting my leg over his hip.

“I wanna try something new,” he whispered as he pushed the hair away from my face. I looked over at him with an innocent face. He pulled me in for a kiss as he slowly pushed his hard cock inside of me. It was an odd angle and it took me a minute to get used to it.

“Are you okay?” he asked, slowly thrusting inside of me from the side.

“Mhm, just--just go slow,” I softly moaned, not even sure if he heard me, but he continued to move slow, gently sucking on my nipple, leaving kisses every so often. As we both become comfortable with the new angle, Ashton began thrusting harder and faster.

“Fuck, Jules, you’re so tight,” he moaned into my ear before biting at my earlobe. The sensitivity was amazing, I had forgotten how _big,_ Ash, really was and how good he was at this. To be honest, it’s the best I’ve ever had. As he was the thrusting into me, he slipped out; causing us both to groan, but I took this into my advantage. I pushed Ashton over so that he was now on his back so I could climb on top to straddled him. Taking his cock in my hands, I rubbed it up and down my slit. The look on his face was enough to send any girl over the edge. He had his head tilted back, eyes tightly shut and his mouth hung open. I slid his cock down my slit one last time before pushing him inside me, letting a moan escape from my lips. I lowered myself down his shaft and starting rocking my hips, gradually picking up the pace. As my thrusts became sloppy, Ashton took ahold of my hips and helped me keep the quick pace. I placed my hands on his chest for balanced as I felt the pressure building up again in my stomach.

“Ash, I’m going to…,” I moaned, trying to keep going.

“Cum for me baby,” his voice was deep and husky. I dug my nails into his chest as my walls tightened around him, “that’s it’s baby,” he moaned, thrusting deeper and harder. I felt the pure release of ecstasy as I rode out my orgasm.

“Ah, shit, baby,” Ashton whined as I lifted my shaking body off of him, “I’m not there yet.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get yours,” I winked at him, scooting myself down so I was now eye level with his throbbing cock. I wrapped my hand around it and starting pumping the shaft. I gently licked the tip, before putting it into my mouth, sucking hard. I felt Ashton’s hand on the back of my head, gripping my hair. I bobbed my hand up and down, trying to take him all in.

“Shit, Jules,” he hissed, bucking his hips up slightly, “I’m so close.”

I continued to pump his shaft as I removed it from my mouth, but only to say, “Cum for me, Ash,” I placed kisses around the tip before taking it back into my mouth. His grip on my hair became tighter and I felt him tense up. He twitched in my mouth as I felt the warm, salty, liquid run down my throat. I swallowed it all and wiped my mouth as I looked up at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I asked, tilting my head to the side.

“Because you’re smokin’ hot!”  

“Shut up, Ashton!” I groaned as I crawled up next to him and rested my head on his chest, “you’re such a cheeseball, but I guess that’s why I love you.”

“I love you more,” he whispered before he planted a kiss on the top of my head, “now let’s get some sleep.”

I snuggled up to him as close as I could, never wanting to be apart from him again. Ashton pulled the covers up to where my entire body was covered but my head. And I fell asleep, happy, for the first time in awhile.  

 


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, Ashton and I laid in bed, snuggling under the blankets, trying to keep each other warm. The sun was starting to peek through the curtains and we both knew he had to be up soon, for a radio show. My head was resting on his chest, his arm draped over my shoulder, lightly tracing small circles on my arm. It was perfect. I didn't want to be anywhere else, but the thoughts about what happened the night before still ran through my head. Was Ashton telling the truth about it not being his baby? He came home drunk so many times, did he not remember sleeping with her? The thought of them together made me cringe. I didn't want him to be the father of her baby, I didn't want her in his life anymore. _Jules, let it go. He’s here now and he loves you, that’s all that matters._

“You okay, babe?” Ashton asked, softly gripping my shoulder.

"Yeah, just thinking,” I mumbled into his chest.

“What are you thinking about?” he moved a bit, sitting up more, causing me to sit up as well.

“Just, just everything that’s happened,” I sighed, stroking my finger up and down his bare chest.

“That tickles,” he giggled, causing me to laugh. It was always like Ash to lighten the mood, “yeah, I've been thinking too,” he began, looking down at me, “Jules, you know I have to talk to her right?”

“Yeah,” I huffed, I didn't want to talk about her right now, but I knew he had to figure out what was going on with the baby stuff.

“Do you want to be there when I do?” He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together.

I raised an eyebrow at him, “no.” I didn't want to be anywhere near that girl and if Ash really was the father of her baby, I wouldn't be okay with it. I scooted away from him and swung my legs over the side of the bed, hands placed on either side of me. I sucked in a deep breath and released it, “what if you are the--the father?” I didn't turn to face him, I knew I couldn't handle the look on his face.

“Babe, I’m not,” I felt the bed dip down behind me, and I could now feel his breath on my skin, “there’s just no way…”

“You could have been so drunk, maybe you didn't know,” I was now fighting back tears, “Ash, you came home shit-faced so many times,” I stood up and walked away from the bed and him. I didn't want this. I didn't want to deal with this anymore. I loved Ashton, but I couldn't handle him being the father of someone else’s baby. Someone who was the reason we broke up in the first place.

“Julie, just fucking believe me for once!” he cursed, pounding his fist into the mattress, “you never fucking believe me.”

“How can I Ashton?” I threw my hands up in the air out of frustration, “how can I believe anything you tell me, when all you've ever done is lie to me? I love you so fucking much, and all I want is for this to work out!” I was crying so hard, I couldn't catch my breath. Ashton was now standing beside me, trying to get me to calm down. This is how our relationship always was, we’d fight but then we’d make up right away. Ashton wrapped his arms around me and let me cry into his chest. He gently rocked me back and forth and sang to me. The vibrations coming off his chest from him singing seemed to soothe me. I finally caught my breath and placed a hand on his chest, softly pushing him away.

“What will happen if you are the father?” I knew I shouldn't have asked that, but I had to know.

“Well, I’m going to take care of it, but I want nothing to do with Katie,” he walked away from me, running a hand through his messy hair, “but Jules, babe, I don’t want this to change anything between us. I love you and only you.”

\--

***Ashton’s POV***

I decided to meet up with Katie after the radio show the boys and I had today. We had plenty of time between then and the show so I thought it would be good to finally get this out of the way, plus I wanted to take Julie out for an adventure.

I was meeting her at the Starbucks across the street from the hotel, it was a warm day and there were tons of people out and about. I sat at the only table left, quietly sipping my drink when I saw her walk in. _Oh boy, here we go._ I stood up and gave her a quick hug.

“You want anything to drink?” I asked her before sitting down.

“No thanks, I gave that stuff up for right now,” she smiled, taking her seat in front of me.

“So,” I paused, not sure how to start this conversation, “how far along are you?”

“3 months, I was just at the doctors before I left for here.”

“Oh, I, I uh,” _shit_ , “are you sure it’s mine?” I took another sip of my coffee hoping she would say no. She hesitated for a minute, looking at me dead in the face, “Katie!” I snapped my fingers to break her stare.

“Are you even being serious right now, Ashton?” She said, her face much more serious, “you don’t remember that night?”

“No, actually I don’t,” I shook my head in confusion, “please, enlighten me.” I leaned forward placing my folded hands on the table.

“So you really don’t remember?” I shook my head at her again, “wow, okay. Well, 3 months ago, tomorrow actually, you asked me to marry you.”

“What!? No!,” I yelled a bit too loud, “you’re making this bullshit up!”

“Calm down, Ashton, please, people are staring” she whispered, reaching for my hand, “I’m not making any of this up.” I pulled my hands away from her but I could tell by the tone in her voice and the look on her face that she was telling the truth.

“How?” I was speechless, I tried to remember that night but I just couldn't. Nothing was coming to me. I must have been drunk, I had to be. _There’s no way I would ask her to marry me. I was still in love with--shit, Jules. She’s going to freak when she hears this._ “Katie, I had to be drunk, there’s no way I would ask you to marry me,” I folded my arms across my chest and held my ground.

“I don’t think you were, Ash. You seemed pretty sober to me,” she whispered, “that was first night we had sex and you made a lot of promises to me.”

“What are you talking about?” I was getting angry now, “promises? What promises? Why don’t I remember any of this?” I huffed.

“You promised we’d always be together, that we’d get married, have babies, and live in a beautiful house.”

“Katie, you’re crazy! I never said anything like that!”

“You did. Why you can’t remember is a mystery to me, but when I woke up the next morning, you were gone,” she grew quiet, looking down at her phone. She started to stand up to leave, “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to get going, my flight leaves soon, but I just want you to know, I’m not lying.” I stared up at her, trying to remember anything from that night, anything.

“Oh, uh, okay,” I mumbled, “I guess just let me know what goes on with the baby and stuff.”

“I will, Ash,” she said, “but I just want to ask one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you with Julie now?” She looked disappointed, like her heart was breaking. Did she care for me that much?

“I am,” I said with confidence as one tear rolled down her cheek. She nodded her head and turned to walk away.

“Treat her right, Ashton,” she turned around to face me one last time, “don’t let her go.” And with that she was gone, and I wasn't quite in the mood for an adventure anymore. I was lost, between what just happened and the fact I had to tell Jules was breaking me apart. I was going to be a father, I was apparently engaged for 3 months and had no clue. My life was a train wreck but the only thing I wanted to do was go be with Julie. She made everything slow down and I needed that right now.

\--

 

****I made my way back over to the hotel to find Julie and maybe get some sleep before the show tonight. I put on a happy face and stopped to take a few photos with some of the fans that were waiting outside. I waved goodbye to them and continued my way up the stairs to the hotel lobby. I started walking to the elevator when I noticed Jules sitting back in the corner of the lobby, she had her headphones in, reading a magazine, and damn, did she look beautiful. I moved closer but not close enough that she saw me. I leaned against the wall and just watched her. The way she licked her fingers before turning a page, the way she bobbed her head to the music. _I wonder what she’s listening to?_ She was just all around perfect in my eyes and in that moment, I realized how much I truly needed her. I only hoped she felt the same. I decided to have some fun with her. I pulled out my phone and started to text her,

_Hey Beautiful! -Ash xx_

I heard her phone make a ‘ping!’ sound as she reached in her pocket to get it. A huge smile came across her face and she started to reply.

_Hey babe! Where are you? -J xo_

_Just watching a beautiful girl in the lobby :) -Ash xx_

She looked up and I ducked behind the wall before she could see me.

_Don’t think I don’t see you Irwin -J xo_

After I read her text, I peeked around the wall and she was gone. _Where did she sneak off too so fast?_ Before I knew it, two small hands covered my eyes.

“Guess who?” She giggled as I quickly turned around and snatched her in my arms. “I've missed you,” I whispered to her, “wanna head upstairs?” She nodded and I carried her to the elevator, both of us laughing uncontrollably. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other, and I loved every second of it.  Remind me to thank Calum for inviting her out here, it was the best to thing to ever happen. I was one lucky man, but what will she say when I tell her what Katie told me?

\--

Jules wanted to shower before the show tonight, and I was ready for a nap. We decided to wait to talk about the conversation I had with Katie until tomorrow. Jules didn’t want anything to ruin tonight, since it was a big show for us boys.

I laid down on the bed as I watched her pick an outfit out.

“You’ll look good in anything, baby,” I smiled at her, my eyes growing heavy and I was soon off to sleep.

***Flashback***

_“Ash, stop! That tickles!” Katie giggled as we rolled around on the bed. We've been together a few months now and I think I was falling for her. She helped me in ways she would never know, like trying to get over Jules. I still loved Julie with everything I had, but she clearly didn't love me anymore and it really hurt._

_“Katie,” I whispered._

_“Yeah, Ash?” She peered up at me through dark brown eyes, a small smile lingering on her lips. All I could think of was kissing her, but was I ready to completely move on from Jules? Was I ready for this next step with Katie? I was and I wasn't._

_“I-I, I think I’m falling in love with you,” I paused, looking down at her through my messy hair. She cupped the sides of my face and pulled me down into a kiss._

_“Oh Ash, I think I’m falling for you too.” I kissed her once before jumping off the bed and placing one knee on the floor resting my elbows on the bed. Katie sat up and turned towards me with a confused look on her face, “what are you doing, babe?” She laughed._

_“Let’s get married!” I quietly yelled._

\--

_Lying in bed with Katie snuggled up to me, didn't feel right after we had sex. My feelings for her changed a bit and I couldn't quite point a finger on it. I was re-thinking about the question I had asked her. Maybe I wasn't ready for this. I quietly pulled out of her gripped and started looking for my clothes. I pulled my jeans and shirt on and slowly opened the hotel door, waiting to put my shoes on after I made it out._

_I walked to the closest bar, it was nearly 2 am and there wasn't many open but one. I made my way to the bar and ordered two shots. I drank them down with ease and quickly ordered two more. I was only trying to drown the mistakes I made tonight. Honestly, what was I thinking? Asking this girl to marry me, when I clearly wasn't over Julie. I felt bad that I left, but I couldn't stay there. 4...5...6 shots later, I was feeling it, the thought of Katie went away but thoughts of Julie were still there, demanding to be felt._

_Next thing I knew, I was back at Julie’s house. It’s where we usually stayed when we had time off or just wanted to be away from the world. The rest of the boys were already there, each in their own rooms. I pounded my way up the stairs when I heard someone call out._

_“Who the hell is poundin’ so fucking early?!” I knew that lovely voice anywhere, it was Jules._

_“Ashton? Wha-what are you doing here and are you? You’re drunk!” She stood at the top of the stairs with a hand on her hip, looking down at me with anger._

_“Jules, babe, I miss you,” I confessed, I knew it was the alcohol talking but I meant it, “please, take me back.” She starting walking down the stairs and took my hands in hers._

_“Let’s get you some water and sober you up before this goes any further,” I could only nod as I started to feel sick._

\--

_“Fuck, this headache is horrible,” I said through gritted teeth as the sun shone through the curtains, “where am I?” I looked around and noticed all the familiar pictures hanging on the walls. How did I end up in Julie’s bed? What the hell happened last night? And, shit! Where are my clothes?_

***End Flashback***

 

**  
**I woke up in a cold sweat and frantically looked around the room. I was still in the hotel room and Jules was looking at me like I was a mad man.

“Are you okay, Ash?” She questioned with a worried look on her face, “bad dream?”

“Yeah, yeah, not just a dream, but a nightmare,” I choked out, “I’ll be fine,” I gave her a quick smile and patted the spot next to me on the bed.

“Want to talk about?” She asked as she took the spot next to me and planted a kiss to the side of my mouth.

“Tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope everyone is enjoying this. This is the last finished chapter I have at the moment but I'm currently working on the next 3. So they'll be up as soon as they're finished! Hope y'all stick around :) 
> 
> Happy early New year!


	8. Chapter 8

***Ashton’s POV***

I walked into our hotel room to find Julie sitting at the desk, back facing me, the faint sound of music flowing through her headphones.

_"...deep down I know this never works, but you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt"_

She has the greatest taste in music and that’s what started it for us. I remember that night like it was yesterday. Michael came running up to me, talking so fast, I couldn't understand him. Once I got him to calm down, he told me about this girl he was talking to and how perfect she was for me. And he was right for awhile. Until I fucked it all up. But I was given this second chance to make it right and  I was not going to waste it.

I snuck up behind her and wrapped my arm around her, my other arm behind my back, holding a bouquet of flowers. She jumped; papers and pens flew every which way.

“Ashton! You scared the shit out of me! And why are you so, ew, sweaty?” She laughed, wiping my sweat off her bare arms. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face.

“I just got back from the gym,” I chuckled. “What have you been up too?”

“Just, uh, just writing.” She gathered the papers so I couldn't see.

“You’re not writing fanfics are you, babe?” I tried looking around her to see but she clearly didn't want me too.

“I’m not! I don’t go near those things,” she laughed. Her laugh was beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful. “I’m just writing a few letters, no big deal. Oh and you need to shower, like now! You stink!”

“Rude!” I gasped, “you know you love it!”

“Yeah, I just love the smell of man! What are you hiding behind your back?”

“Just a little something for you,” I pulled out the flowers and her face light up.

“Oh my god, Ash! They’re beautiful and smell wonderful!”

“You wanna get lunch before the show tonight?” I asked as I sat down to removed my shoes.

“I’d love to!” She smiled at me, “I’d kiss you, but you know, you smell,” she giggled. Jules just loved to pick on me, but I loved it.  “Thank you for these, babe.”

\--

****  
  


I flicked the bathroom light on and looked around. _Well, I surely did miss all this girly stuff everywhere_. I moved some of Jules stuff around so I could set my belongings down. I rubbed on some shaving cream and was beginning to shave when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. Julie walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Trailing kisses along my shoulder blades as she played with the hem of my jeans.

“Baby,” I sighed. Her touch was electrifying.

“I want you,” she whispered, backing away from me. I watched in the mirror as she stripped free of her clothes. She turned on the water before stepping in; checking to make sure it wasn't too hot. I quickly wiped the shaving cream off of my face, roughly pulled off my clothes and I joined her.

The warm water cascaded down her body as she washed her hair. I pulled her into me, her warm bare back pressing against my chest. I kissed her neck, lightly sucking the skin, causing her to lean her head back to give me more access, a small moan slipping from her lips.

“I love you, Ash,” she whispered.

“I love you, too.”

\--

We got in the taxi and told the driver to take us to the cutest restaurant in the area. We ended up at this small cafe/bakery. The wonderful aroma of coffee and baked goods hit us as we walked through the double doors. We walked hand in hand to the counter. There were so many things to choose from, breads, scones, and cakes. You name it, they had it.

“What do you want, babe?” I asked Jules, she seemed a bit overwhelm. She’s never been to a bakery like this before.

“Uh, one of everything?” She giggled, leaning into me.

“May I help you?” A young girl asked.

“I’ll have a blueberry scone and a hot chocolate please.”  Jules smiled at her, “what about you, babe?”

“I’ll have the same,” Julie started pulling money out of her purse, “hey, put that away. My lady never pays.” I kissed her on the cheek, “go find a seat, I’ll bring the food.”

“Why are you being so sweet today?” She laughed as she walked away.

We sat and talked for what seemed like forever. It was like we just met and we were finding everything out about each other again. Julie’s one thing was to talk about music. No matter who she was talking to, the conversation always turned to music. She also reminded me that she still wanted to get that puppy we always talked about getting. And that gave me an idea.

“Ash, you okay? You’re just like, staring off into space.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled, “we better get back or Michael will flip shit if I’m late.”

It took a few tries but I finally flagged down a taxi. I opened the door for Jules and she looked at me confused.

“Seriously, why are you being so sweet?”

“What? I can’t be sweet?” We both laughed as we climbed into the car. “I may have already said this, but I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she smiled.

\--

***Julie’s POV***

“Do you want to be behind the stage or out in the crowd?” Ashton asked handing me a drink.

“Oh, babe, thanks but I’m not drinking tonight,” he looked at me confused since I always drank at their shows, “and I think I’ll stand in the crowd. I’m just going to be a fan tonight,” I laughed, wrapping my arm around his waist.

“Okay, sweet pea,” he pulled me into him, kissing the top of my head, “if it gets too wild, just go around to the side and they’ll let you up.”

“Sounds like a plan.” We stood there a bit longer, watching the crew put the stage together, which was huge. These four boys have come so far and I was glad to be there to see it.

“Ash?”

“Yeah, babe?” He smiled down at me, squeezing me tight against him.

“How did your talk go with Katie?” I knew I shouldn't be asking him about it now but I wanted to know how it went.

“It went okay, I guess,” he sighed. “She’s 3 months pregnant and apparently,” he paused; I could see he wasn't okay talking about this.

“It’s okay, Ash, you can tell me.”

He took a deep breath, “I asked her to marry me, but I don’t remember doing so. She understands though, that I’m with you and love you.”

It was a bit shocking to hear this coming from him. _Engaged?_ I didn't even know he was seeing someone, let alone being engaged and her being pregnant. I guess he was just as shocked as I was.

“Oh.” I didn't really know what to say to him. I was happy he got things figured out with her but something still didn't seem right. 3 months ago is when, _fuck_ , is when we hooked up. “Is there anything else about that time that you remember?” I was afraid to know now. That night could have easily been the night he… _Shit_. It was starting to come to me now. He doesn't remember because he was shit-faced. Ashton hooked up with both Katie and I in the same night and for some reason I wasn't mad about it. I wasn't mad because even though he was with her, he ended up in my bed, with me. And that made me smirk on the inside. I looked up at him; he was staring off into space, like he was thinking too hard. I placed a hand on his chest causing him to look down at me.

“Yeah, something happened betwe--.”

“Ashton, it’s time for sound check!” We both looked towards the stage to see Michael waving for Ashton to come over, “we got some new songs to work on. Hi Jules!”

I waved back at Michael and couldn't help but laugh.

“Can we finished this later, please?” He pulled me into a hug, before lightly kissing my lips.

“We can.”

\--

The lights went down, cell phones went up. The crowd roared as the screens lit up with a countdown. You could see the boys’ shadows through the thin smoke that filled the room. 5...4...3...2...1

They had great stage presence and I swear, every time I see them, they only get better. Hearing the crowd sing along gave me goosebumps. I couldn't be more proud watching them from the floor, enjoying the whole show and not just bits and pieces like I use too. I even caught myself singing along. _‘She's got a rose tattoo but she keeps it covered, I play guitar but she's into drummers’_ After that song was over, I pulled out my camera and started taking photos. I’m pretty sure every one I took of Ash, he was making a goofy face.

I noticed this group of girls staring and pointing towards me and it was making me uncomfortable. There were only a few songs left so I decided to head backstage. Dave, part of the boys’ security team, saw me struggling to get to the side of the stage and come over to help me.

Once I was backstage I saw a familiar face.

“Niall! Niall, over here!” He saw me waving and a smile came across his face. I noticed he had a beautiful girl with him this time.

“Julie! How are ya?” Niall pulled me into a hug.

“I’m amazing! How are you?”

“I’m doing good. Have you met me girlfriend, Madeline?” He pointed to the girl standing next to him.

“I don’t think I have! Hi, I’m Julie, Ashton’s girlfri--,” I cut myself short because was I his girlfriend? I mean, he did give me this ring and all, “I’m his girlfriend,” I smiled and shook her hand.

“You and Ash should come to dinner with us after the show.” Niall suggested.

“Yeah, that would be good!” I smiled and hugged Niall goodbye.

I watched from the side of the stage as the boys introduce their last song of the night. Ashton noticed me and gave me a huge smile and then winked at me. _Oh no, what’s he up to now?_

“I like to dedicate this next song to my lovely girlfriend, Julie! Who just happens to look perfect in my underwear,” he giggled and by the sound of the crowd, they weren't pissed about it. I was just glad they couldn't see how red my face was. So I guess I really am his girlfriend now, since he just made it official to everyone.

“I actually got that, Ash!” Luke laughed, staring back at Ashton, who had the biggest smile on his face. "Here’s She Looks So Perfect!” Luke yelled into his microphone, “I need everyone to go nuts!”

And the crowd really did go nuts. It was amazing, hearing everyone in the venue singing back every word. The smiles on the boys’ faces made me extremely happy. They were really living the dream.

“Babe! How amazing was that?!” Ashton ran over to me and picked me up.

“Pretty fucking amazing! That was one of your best shows, ever!” I smiled. He put back down and planted a very sloppy, sweaty kiss on my lips.

“How would you like to go to dinner with Niall and his lovely girlfriend tonight?”

“Is Niall here?” He asked excitedly.

“He was,” I looked around to see if I could spot him, “I told them we would meet him there.”

“Alright, well let me shower real fast and put some nice clothes on and we’ll go,” he grinned, kissing my forehead before disappearing into the dressing room. “But what about our talk?” He popped his head out of the door.

“It’s okay,” I smiled at him, “we’ll get around to it.”


	9. Chapter 9

The restaurant was in walking distance of our hotel. Ash and I walked hand and hand, playfully kissing each other every so often. A few fans had spotted him, so I stepped aside and let him do his thing. Seeing Ashton with his fans was an amazing sight. He loved talking to them and I was just in awe. There was one girl who was standing beside me crying.

“Are you okay?” I asked her with a smile. All she could do was nod. “He’s not scary, I promise.”

“I’m just so nervous to meet him,” she whispered, “he’s my hero.” My heart melted.

“Just wait here. I’ll bring him over.” Her eyes grew wide and a huge smile came across her face.

“Ash, come meet this girl. She’s super nervous and is scared to come up to you.” He smiled and placed a kiss on my lips.

“You’re amazing,” he whispered in my ear before walking over to the trembling girl.

“Can I get a hug?” Ashton asked her, his voice soft and calm. Completely different from when he was around the other fans. They embraced in a tight hug and all I could do was smile.

“Can I take your picture with him? This is just too cute,” I asked, pulling out my phone. She giggled and said yes. “You can find it on my twitter later.” I told them to do different poses and took a few shots. This was fun, meeting fans. It was something I hadn't done in the past and I planned to do more of it with Ashton. She hugged Ashton once more and gave him a letter she had written for him. We said our goodbyes and continued our way to dinner.

As we were walking, I tweeted the photos of the lovely girl with Ash. _She’s going to love these._

__

\--

Strolling into the restaurant, we spotted Niall. Considering he was standing up and waving, pretty much gave him away. I shook my head and laughed.

Ashton pulled my chair out, like a gentleman. I smiled at him as I sat down across from Niall. Ash sat down next to me, removing his jacket.

The waitress arrived and god, she was a flirty little thing. Giggling and touching Ashton's shoulder as she told him the specials. Bending over just enough to let her cleavage hang in Ashton’s face as she took his order down. Ashton had the stupidest grin on his face and I just wanted to slap it right off of him.

She didn't dare do that with Niall, as Madeline had a tight grip on his shoulder. Smart girl. I could learn a lot from her.

Once the waitress left, I saw her over at the door, laughing with one of her coworkers. Pointing and waving over at Ashton as if I didn't exist.

“What a bitch,” I said in a faint whispered.

“What?” Ashton asked, looking at me.

“Nothing,” I snapped, giving him a tight-lipped look. He just shook his head.

****  


\--

****  


I felt Ash’s hand on my thigh; thinking nothing of it, I continued my conversation with Madeline. She was lovely, with her long, wavy, brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes. To be fair, I was a bit jealous. Here I am in a boring, old dress with my hair up in a bun and she’s just looks so stunning. As soon as I saw her at the venue, I knew Ash would be looking  her up and down. I did catch him staring a few times. But she was so nice and friendly, I couldn't help but like her and I was happy for Niall.

Ashton’s hand started to trail further up my thigh, tracing small circles every so often. I sent him a warning look but that didn't stop him.   _I knew I should have worn jeans._ He just smirked at me and continued to make small talk with Niall. Every so often he’d slide his hands further up my dress and bush his fingers over my sweet spot.

"Stop it," I said in a low tone, glaring at him. "This isn't the time or place, Ashton."

"Are you guys okay?" Madeline asked.

"Oh, yes. We're perfect." I faked a smile, "so how long have you and Niall been together?” I asked Madeline, relieved Ash’s hand was none gone.

“A few months now,” she smiled, looking over at him, “he’s a great guy.”

“That he is!” Ashton interrupted.

“I think you've had too much to drink, babe.” I tried laughing along with everyone else, but the way Ash was acting was annoying.

Our food had arrived and it looked delicious. As the flirty waitress set Ashton’s food in front of him, I leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips, "mmm, tasty!" He was in a bit of shock that I even kissed him, since I was mad at him. He smiled before placing a soft kiss on the side of my mouth.

\--

As we were eating and having a lovely conversation, Ashton’s hand found it’s way back on my thigh.

“I can’t wait to get you home,” he whispered into my ear. I pressed my thighs together as I felt myself grow wet from his words, no longer angry at him. He squeezed my thigh tighter and chuckled to himself. He knew what he was doing and knew I couldn't resist.

“Jules,” Niall turned his attention to me, “it’s good to see you back on tour and straightening this guy out. He’s a handful,” we all laughed.

“Hey!” Ashton whined.

“Oh, don’t I know it!” I said as I placed my hand on Ashton’s thigh to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“So, what have you been up too?” Niall asked, taking a sip of his champagne.

“Just working back at home. I needed a break from the ‘touring life’, it was becoming a bit too much.” No one knew Ash and I broke up but Michael, Luke, and Calum. But I assumed someone slipped up and told someone and so on.

\--

We finished our meals and couldn't pass up on deserts. All I really wanted was a brownie but Ashton insisted on getting the biggest desert on the menu and the waitress made sure we knew it'd be a while before it arrived.

“So, Ash, you wanna play some pool?” Niall laughed. Ash looked over to me and I nodded.

“Go on, go play. I’m gonna stay and talk with Maddie,” I smiled up at him as he stood from the table, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

“You two are adorable together,” Maddie flashed a smile.

“Aw, you think?” I scrunched my nose at her, “we've had are ups and downs.

“Don’t I know that feeling.”

“How do you do it? How do you trust him?” I had so many questions for her. She seemed to have it all figured out.

“You just have to let it all go and just do it. Forget what’s happened in the past. He loves you, a lot. I can see that,” she paused, looking over at Niall and Ashton acting like two goofballs, "I see it in the way he looks at you. He’s crazy for you, Jules!”

I sat staring at Ash, thinking about what she was saying. Everyone has always said to me that they wish they had someone look at them like Ashton does to me but I never paid no mind to it. He always ended up doing something he wasn't suppose too and it ended up hurting me in the process.

“And I see the way you look at him,” she said, interrupting my thoughts, “you two are made for each other. Don’t let that one go, girl. Or you’ll regret it.”

“But, but he’s having another woman's baby. How do I even began to get over that?” I took a sip of my water, the thought of Katie and Ashton made my throat severely dry.

“Are you sure it’s even his? Is there any proof?” She furrowed her eyebrows at me, “I’d have a paternity test done when that baby is born.”

She had a point. How did we know it was really Ashton’s baby? Maybe she was fooling us all. I didn't know Katie that well, but she just looked like trouble the night I caught her in my kitchen.

Niall and Ashton came back to the table just as the dessert arrived. Ashton tried to be romantic and feed me, but I just wasn't into it.

“Are you okay?” Ashton looked at me with worried eyes, “you've been acting funny lately.”

“I’m fine,” I smiled, “I think the jetlag is finally hitting me.” I hated to lie to him, but my mood had drastically changed and I didn't want to ruin the night.  He rested his hand on my thigh once more before taking another shot. Drunk Ashton was not my favorite person right now.

“Please excuse me,  I have to use the ladies room.” I pushed myself from the table and gave everyone a faint smile as I walked away. I took my time looking at the art work and such on the walls; I didn't want to rush right back to the table so my drunk boyfriend could tease me with his hands.

I walked out of the stall and went to look at myself in the mirror. I fixed my hair and straightened out my dress. I ran my hands over the small bump that still hung around. _I really need to have that checked out_. I walked out of the bathroom only to be pulled into a dark corner.

“Ashton?” I gasped as he pushed me against the wall. He buried his face in the crook of my neck.

“Baby,” he breathed, the smell of liquor on his breath, "let me touch you.”

“Ash, no, we can’t. I can’t,” I whispered, trying to push him away.

“Please?” He pouted, “it’ll be real quick,” he mumbled against my neck, leaving sloppy kisses here and there. His hand traced down my side and worked it’s way up my dress and I let him. He had built me up so much at the table, I needed a release.

“Already so wet,” he groaned, sliding a finger up and down my folds. “Who made you like this?”

“You-you, Ash,” I moaned into his chest so no one could hear me.  We were lucky this place was so dark and that the bathrooms were far out of sight.

He slipped a finger inside of me and it was quickly greeted by another one. I clung onto his jacket as he wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me up. As his fingers did their magic, I ran my fingers through his hair, roughly kissing his lips. The flirty waitress come around the corner. A shocked look on her face as Ashton brought me close. I caught her eye and glared at her, giving her a devilish smile. I think she got the point. As my orgasm started to build up, something wasn't feeling right. The wonderful sensation started to feel painful.

“Ash, Ashton, stop,” I whimpered, grabbing his wrist to pull it away.

“Not yet, baby.”

“Ashton, please, it hurts,” I cried, pulling harder at his wrist. He looked at me with a confused look and quickly removed his fingers and held me.

“What’s wrong, Jules? Here sit down,” he walked me over to a bench and carefully sat me down. I winced at the pain that shot through my stomach and I felt like I had to puke. “Babe, please tell me what’s wrong?”

“I, I don’t know. It’s my stomach. I wanna go home.”

“Of course, let’s gather our things and say goodbye to Niall,” he gently kissed my forehead and held his hand out for me, “can you walk?”

“Yeah, I think I’m good,” I smiled at him, taking his hand in mine.

****  


\--

I made Ashton stop at the pharmacy so I could get some aspirins, but I was really going for something else. I've had this idea for awhile that something _else_ was going on, but I didn't want it to be true, not now anyway.

“Do you need me to come with?” Ashton asked, a worried look still on his face.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I reassured him.

“Oh, okay, I’ll be waiting right here when you get back,” he squeezed my hand and after trying to get him to let it go, he finally did.

I walked in and looked at the signs pointing me in the direction I needed to go. I was scared. If I was thinking right, this could either be a good or a bad thing. I was leaning more towards a bad thing. I wasn't ready for this and neither was Ashton. He had more then enough on his plate and I didn't want to add any more pressure.

I stood there for a good five minutes before deciding on which one to buy. _So many choices_. I finally decided on one or three. I had to make sure. I just had too.

I cautiously walked up to the counter, picking up a few odds and ends to mix in with something I didn't want to buy.

“Hello,” the lady working behind counter smiled, “aw, are you excited?” She pointed to the boxes.

“Oh, no, no, no,” I shook my hands, “they’re for a friend,” I lied. She just smiled and continued to ring up my items.

“Jules! There you are! I was getting worried,” I turned around to see Ashton. _Shit. Please, no._

“I wasn't gone for that long,” I snapped.

“It’s been fifteen minutes, don’t tell me that isn't ‘that long’,” he huffed.

“Ash, please. I’m not in the mood for this.” I get that he’s upset but god, I needed a break. I just wanted to be alone at this point.

“I’m sorry, are you ready to go?” He was hurt. I shouldn't have snapped at him.

“Yeah, just let me pay,” I smiled at him. A small smile grew across his lips and I melted.

_I love him._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **There's only a few chapters left in this. I just feel it's time to wrap it up and move on, but don't worry. There will be a part 2!**


	10. Chapter 10

“I’m gonna get a shower,” I told Ash as he was taking off his shoes and getting into bed.

“Want me to join you?” He winked, getting up off the bed.

“Sorry, babe, I’m just not in the mood.”

“Okay, sweetpea. I’m just going to watch some TV then,” he was disappointed but this was the only way I could do this alone.

I turned the shower on and let steam fill the small bathroom. I pulled the box out of the paper bag and read the directions. Seemed easy enough. I pulled my pants and panties down and sat on the toilet. I opened the package and did as the directions said. Once it was done, I decided to jump in the shower real fast, so at least I didn't totally lie to Ashton.

I was afraid to look. What laid on the counter was about to change my life and I don’t think I’m ready for it. I sucked in a huge breath of air, held it for a few seconds then released it. My heart was beating out of my chest and I wasn't sure if I would make it over to the counter or not. I slowly walked over, _just look at it. It’ll be okay._ I leaned over the little blue stick and there it showed, two very pink lines. Pregnant. _I’m pregnant._

I broke. I didn't know what to think, so I just cried. Curled up on the bathroom floor, crying. Why? I should be happy, shouldn't I? I’m having the love of my life’s baby. I should be happy.

I threw on  my pjs and quietly opened the bathroom door. Ash was sleeping peacefully and that made me feel more relaxed. I wasn't ready for him to know. I hid the pregnancy test in my bag, just until I had a safe place to get rid of it. I crawled under the covers and snuggled in next to Ashton. He wrapped his arms around me and mumbled something I couldn't understand. _Be happy_ , but all I could do was cry.

“Jules, don’t cry,” Ashton whispered, guess he wasn't fully asleep, “I’m sorry about how I acted at the restaurant, please forgive me.” He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. “I love you.”

I smiled to myself. Now to find the right time to tell him the news.

\--

The next few days were hectic. There were more shows added. More time was needed at the recording studio. I was barely seeing Ash and it wasn't the best time. When we were together, he was distant. I felt alone even when he was right next to me. I didn't think telling him about the baby right now was the best thing to do. If he wasn't talking to me now, I doubt telling him I was pregnant was going to make him start.

I was laying in bed, thinking about what I should do when Ashton walked in. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep when I felt the bed dip down beside me. His long arms wrapped around my waist and the heat was just radiating off his body. He nuzzled his face in my hair and took a deep breathe.

“I've missed you, baby,” he whispered and placed a kiss on my ear, “sorry I've been so distant.”

I let out a deep sigh, “it’s okay, Ash. I know you’re busy.” I didn't like the way those words came out of my mouth. It wasn't okay.

“After tonight, I’ll be spending all my time with you,” he giggled.

“What’s tonight?” I asked, not really caring to know.

“It’s our last night in the studio. Cal and I are putting the final touches on this new song and it’s amazing.”

“Can’t wait to hear it!” By now I was just annoyed with him and wanted him to leave. It’s sad how I don’t even want to be around him anymore, when at first, that’s all I wanted. I don’t know if it was me that changed or Ashton but things just aren't the same and I’m sure he can feel it too. When I first arrived, I was happy and enjoyed his presence but now I just want to be alone. I guess finding out that I’m pregnant changed the way I looked at things. It was time for me to grow up and I guess I just assumed Ashton would too. Well, after I told him at least. But seeing how he’s been acting these last few days, I knew that was just a dream. Maybe Ashton and I aren't meant to be together.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Knowing Ashton was at the studio all night, I didn't want to be alone, so I went to Michael’s room, but apparently he was at the studio as well. I must have fallen asleep in Mikey’s room because when I woke up the next morning I found him curled up on the floor. _He didn't have to sleep on the floor._  He was such a sweetheart. I wouldn't know what to do if I had never met him. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and rubbed my little baby bump. I felt my cheeks begin to tingle and the acid in my stomach started to rise up my throat. I ran straight to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time. Morning sickness had finally found me.

“Jules, you okay in there?” Michael said in a faint voice.

“Yeah, I’m--,” I hurled clear liquid into the water.

“I’m coming in!” Michael swung the door open. He kneeled down next to me and pulled my hair back as I continued to hurl.

Once I was done and sat back on the floor, Michael handed me a cool, damp towel.

“Thank you,” I softly smiled at him, “must have been something I ate.”

“So there’s nothing important you wanna tell me?” He cocked his head, “You wanna tell me why you haven’t had a drink? Why you’re always wearing Ash’s shirts and you’re crying all the damn time.” He scooted closer to me and pulled me into him. “I found this in your bag last night,” he pulled out my pregnancy test. “You’re pregnant.” A cold sweat came over me and I felt sick again.

“Michael, please. Please don’t tell Ash,” I cried.

“Someone needs too!”

“I just can’t. It’s not the right time.”

“When will it be the right time? You can’t hide it from him forever.” And Michael was right. I couldn't keep hiding this from him. _I’m going to tell him today._

 

\--

 

I quietly walked into our hotel room to find Ashton sprawled out on the bed, half naked. I picked up his dirty clothes only to notice the lipstick stain on the collar of his white button up, along with the smell of perfume. As I moved closer to him, I saw the small red marks up and down his chest and a pair of red panties in his hand. _Bastard._ I was fuming. I threw his clothes down and ran.

“Michael! Michael, open up!” I banged on his door, choking on my tears, “Michael, please!” The door swung open to a very tired, angry boy, but once he saw it was me and the state I was in, his facial features changed and he pulled me into a tight hug.

“Jules, what’s wrong?” He asked as he walked me over to the bed, “here, sit and calm down. I’ll make some tea.”

I took a deep breath and wiped my face, “I was picking up Ashton’s dirty clothes from last night and noticed a lipstick stain on the collar.” I took a ragged breath as Michael handed me some tea. “And, and I could smell her perfume on him. For fucks sake, he had her panties in his hand! What happen last night? You had to see.”

“Huh? I wasn't, that son of bitch!”

“What?” I shook my head, trying to understand what Michael was trying to say, “Michael, what are you talking about? You weren't with him and Cal last night? At the studio?”

“No, I was with Luke, playing video games. All night and then Calum joined us.” He sat down beside me, “fuck. He lied to both of us, Jules.”

“What did he say to you?” I couldn't wrap my head any of this. Why would Ashton lie to both of us? What was he thinking?

“He told me last night that he was taking you out somewhere. As a surprised.”

“Well, he surely surprised me,” I started to cry again. Michael sat next me and pulled me into tight hug.

“Jules,” Michael sighed, “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay, Mikey. I shouldn't have come. My mistake.”

“No, I should have never set you up with him!” Michael pounded his fist into the bed, “You’re pregnant, Jules. You deserve so much. He’s dead.” And before I had a chance to say anything, Michael was already out the door.

“Michael, don’t!” I yelled down the hallway at him, “please! I can handle this myself!”

“I got this, Jules.” Michael banged on Ashton’s door. “Ash, open the fucking door!”

“What the fuck?” Michael pulled Ashton out and slammed him against the wall. “Michael, what are you doing? Where’s Julie?”

“She came to my room, crying again. Because of you!”

“Shit.” Ashton mumbled, “she caught me.”

“Damn right she did. How could you? She’s--”

“Michael, no!” I stood there trembling, “I’m done.”

“What?” They both said together.

“I’m done!” I stomped back to Michael’s room and grabbed my bag. I walked past both of them in the hallway, like they didn't exist. As I rounded the corner, I ran into a familiar face.

_You've_ _got to be fucking kidding me._  

It was the fan from a few nights ago who was terrified to meet Ashton. Standing right in front of me, holding two coffees and wearing his shirt. _Bitch._

“Are you?” I gave her a cold look. She didn't say a word, but I knew. “Good, I hope he fucks you real good.” I knocked both coffees out of her hands before I continued on my way. Once I got in the elevator, I broke down.

 

\--

 

I ended up at the cafe across the street. Alone. I didn't want to hear what Michael or Ashton had to say. Coming out here was a mistake and I see that now. Everything that’s happened the last 3 months is a mistake. I’m pregnant. Fucking pregnant. By a guy I thought loved me and only me. But I was wrong about that too. I’m wrong about everything.

I waited until I saw the boys leave for their show tonight I didn't want to see any of them before I left. I know it’s wrong because I wasn't mad at them. Just Ashton, but if I saw any of them, they would beg me to stay. And that’s something I couldn't do. Ashton’s little side chick was right there tagging along. Even after all that, he walked hand and hand with her. Even though I had nothing but hate for him, it still hurt seeing him like that. I honestly shouldn't care, but here I am, sitting alone with his baby. Maybe I should have told him. Maybe that would be me holding his hand. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I walked across the street and into the hotel. Riding the elevator up, I thought over and over. Making sure this was the right thing. Ashton wasn't going to give up this lifestyle and I wasn't going to hang around for when he wanted me. I’m going to take my little baby and go enjoy life. Without Ashton.

I packed up all my stuff and just my stuff. None of Ashton’s shirts. None of what he bought me. Nothing. I wanted no memory of him.

I gently placed the letter I wrote him on the desk with the ring. I didn't need it and it meant nothing to either of us.

I also slipped a letter under Michael’s door. I couldn't just leave and not explain why. Michael was my best friend and I couldn't lose him too. I leaned against the door and collected myself. This was happening. I was leaving for good this time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a very good chapter and tbh I'm so over this story. There's one chapter left and it'll be finished. I'm currently working on a new Luke fic, which I'm super excited about!


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